Can't Let Go
by Angelprinczess
Summary: Songfic to Let Go by 12 Stones. Squall speaks about Rinoa at her funeral.


Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or the song "Let Go" by 12 Stones.

Author's Note: Yes, this is yet another song fic, lol! I'm having a little bit of writer's block with On the Ice, so I decided to take a little break from that to write this short piece. I've already written a few song fics about Rinoa having to deal with the loss of Squall, so I decided to switch it up in this fic. The song used is called "Let Go" and it is by 12 Stones. I _highly _recommend listening to it while reading this fic. It definitely sets the mood. Please tell me what you think.

Can't Let Go

Squall Leonhart stared up at the podium looming in front of him. Sunlight poured into the room through the huge glass windows in the ballroom, but the mood throughout was anything but reflective of that. Looking around him, he located the distraught faces of all of his friends. Quistis...trying to be the strong one, but failing terribly as tears rolled down her cheeks. Selphie...cheerful, happy-go-lucky Selphie. She, too, was reduced to tears. Irvine stood beside her, holding her comfortingly, but no one could mistake the stricken look on his face. Zell...well, Squall couldn't see Zell's face. His head was hung, fists clenched tightly. Beside him was, shockingly, Seifer, a frown etched on his face. Past differences were put aside in this moment of pain.

**__**

I feel so alone again

I know that I need you

To help me make it through the night

And I pray that you believe in me

You gave me my strength

To face another day alone

Squall's face remained stoic as all eyes turned towards him. He had been holed up in his room for days, refusing any contact with the outside world. Surprisingly, he didn't look half bad. It was obvious to everyone present that he had taken care of his appearance for the ceremony. _She _would have wanted it that way. 

He locked eyes with Headmaster Cid, who was standing in the front of the room. The look in his eyes was one of utmost sympathy. Squall nodded slightly and walked down the remainder of the aisle, taking a seat by his friends.

Headmaster Cid cleared his throat as he looked out into the sea of sad faces. "We are all here today for a very grievous occasion. One of our own...Rinoa Heartilly, was lost to us during her last mission. She was in a car accident on her way back to Garden. This matter is extremely tragic and my heart goes out to her friends and family. Rinoa was a very sweet girl...always keeping us smiling. Her presence will be sorely missed. Would anyone like to say a few words?"

Quistis nodded and stood up. "Rinoa was one of my very closest friends. She made us all better people and it will be unbearably hard to go on without her. She will always be in our hearts and never will she be forgotten." Sobbing, she sat back down, her head in her hands.

**__**

And I need you now my friend

More than you know, yeah

When will we meet again

Cause I can't let go of you

Zell went up to the podium and said a few words about his friend. Selphie and Irvine followed suit, going up together, followed by Seifer. The mood throughout the room was extremely somber. Finally, it was Squall's turn. Every pair of eyes in the room was on their commander, whom the death of Rinoa had affected the hardest.

As he walked up to the podium, he was embraced by Matron. Seeing the look in his eyes, she whispered, "Speak from your heart. Rinoa will hear you." Giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, she took her seat next to her husband.

"Rinoa...what can I say about Rinoa?" Squall ran a hand through his hair. "Rinoa Heartilly was the best thing that ever happened to me. For years, I was just a sorry excuse for a human being. Then...I met her. This beautiful angel that was sent to me. She made me believe in myself and made me feel like I actually had a reason for _being_. Have you ever felt like everything was right in the world, and that if you were to die right then, you would die the happiest person alive? That's how I felt _every _day that I was with Rinoa."

**__**

This world brings me down again

I know that I need you

To help me make it through the night

And I know that you're the one for me

You gave me my strength 

To face another day alone

Squall closed his eyes, remembering every aspect of the woman he had loved...still loved. Her smile, laugh, touch, kiss...how she made you feel like a better person by just seeing her smile. "I didn't deserve Rinoa, but by some stroke of faith, and reasons I can't comprehend, she _loved _me. I had no choice but to love her back. It was impossible _not _to love her. She left that morning, on her way to Timber. She was so happy...Timber had just gained its independence. She told me that if she had helped in the smallest possible way, she would be eternally gratified. Her faction might have been small, but believe me, they _made _a difference. Do you hear that, Rinoa? Timber gained its independence because of you."

**__**

And I need you now my friend

More than you know, yeah

When will we meet again

Cause I can't let go I can't let go

_"Squall, can you feel that? That's my heart beating. Do you know why it beats? It beats for you, Squall." _"I loved Rinoa more than I loved anything else in the world. No...I _love _Rinoa. She wouldn't want to be talked of in the past tense, as if she were nothing but a distant memory. She saved me from myself. Regardless of what I do, I can't bring her back. Believe me, if I had the chance to trade my life for hers, I'd do it in a minute. I have decided to give up my job as commander. Actually, I am going to be leaving Garden altogether. I just cannot stay here anymore. I know that Rinoa wouldn't want me to give up my career over her...that's how selfless she was. However, it is impossible for me not to. Everywhere I turn, I am faced with a constant reminder of her."

**__**

As time passes by I find

Things never seem to change

When I feel alone

You bring me back to you

A solitary tear ran down Squall's cheek. You could almost feel everyone's heart wrench as they witnessed their "emotionless" commander cry. He had emotions, alright. They were simply hidden for _her_. "I ask you all to remember Rinoa. Remember the person who you trusted, who you turned to. She was completely innocent. She _never _should have died! I will never forget the memory of the angel who stole my heart. Do you hear that, Rinoa? I will love you forever."

**__**

And I need you now my friend

More than you know, yeah

When will we meet again

Cause I can't let go of you

No I can't let go

Squall collapsed on the floor, allowing his tears to consume him.

****

~*~

****


End file.
